The Wherewithall
He hasn't the know-how to choose matching clothes,
so he dresses in everything from his head to his toes.
He likes bowler hats and beanies and fedoras with feathers,
and bright purple dotted socks with complimenting leathers.
Tweed fancy jackets and scruffy farm boots
with sky blue pullovers under smart business suits.
Bow ties and waist coats that barely fit,
buttoned up to burst when he bends down to sit.
Soft suede skirts that sway when he moves and
fluffy pink scarves with those bright purple shoes.
Then dressed to his best (yellow gloves, sequin vest)
he goes out on the town, leaving no time to rest.
He hasn't a frown for people bringing him down,
those who point, laugh, giggle and run.
He knows he's adorable, after all he's the Wherewithall,
they're just too afraid to have fun.
Bed Bugs
There's something to be said about Bed Bugs in beds,
they struggle to rest their weary heads.
Fond of flitting and flapping and flying about,
playing with time like a roundabout.
Then warned of their folly, they'll giggle and be jolly
without a care in the world, or a single worry.
It isn't till morning, when the day is dawning that their
feelers start dragging and their tired mouths yawning.
"We should've gone to bed,
like we were told when they said,
I can hardly lift my heavy head."
Stuporstitions
Never cross the path of a black cat.
Say excuse me and walk around. Cats appreciate manners.
Wearing your birthstone will bring you good luck.
Wearing your birth clothes will bring you unemployment.
If you blow out all your Birthday candles in one breathe you will get everything you wish for. Unless you wished to leave some candles burning.
An itchy palm means money will come your way.
An itchy foot means your Grandmother's dancing to 'Britney Spear's - Slave' and an itchy hip means you need to stop wearing polyester.
It is bad luck to sing at the table.
A whistle is ok, also a quiet hum....
Goldfish in the pond brings good luck.
Goldfish out of the pond brings dinner in some cultures.
To make a happy marriage, the bride must wear: Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue....and occasionally, nothing at all.
To give someone a wallet or purse without any money in it, will bring them bad luck.
Always pickpocket in up market areas.
A cat has nine lives.
A no-life has nine cats.
To open an umbrella in the house is bad luck.
To open a bag of glitter in the house is worse.
An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.
Unless you get sick.
If you walk under a ladder you will have bad luck.
If you walk into a ladder you will have worse.
At the end of a Rainbow is a pot of gold.
At the end of Dirty Dancing Baby gets taken out of the corner and they have the time of their lives.
After receiving a container of food, it should never be returned empty.
Or at all, if it's one of those expensive microwave dishes.
Cold hands, warm heart.
Cold feet, put socks on.
Say excuse me and walk around. Cats appreciate manners.
Wearing your birthstone will bring you good luck.
Wearing your birth clothes will bring you unemployment.
If you blow out all your Birthday candles in one breathe you will get everything you wish for. Unless you wished to leave some candles burning.
An itchy palm means money will come your way.
An itchy foot means your Grandmother's dancing to 'Britney Spear's - Slave' and an itchy hip means you need to stop wearing polyester.
It is bad luck to sing at the table.
A whistle is ok, also a quiet hum....
Goldfish in the pond brings good luck.
Goldfish out of the pond brings dinner in some cultures.
To make a happy marriage, the bride must wear: Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue....and occasionally, nothing at all.
To give someone a wallet or purse without any money in it, will bring them bad luck.
Always pickpocket in up market areas.
A cat has nine lives.
A no-life has nine cats.
To open an umbrella in the house is bad luck.
To open a bag of glitter in the house is worse.
An apple a day keeps the Doctor away.
Unless you get sick.
If you walk under a ladder you will have bad luck.
If you walk into a ladder you will have worse.
At the end of a Rainbow is a pot of gold.
At the end of Dirty Dancing Baby gets taken out of the corner and they have the time of their lives.
After receiving a container of food, it should never be returned empty.
Or at all, if it's one of those expensive microwave dishes.
Cold hands, warm heart.
Cold feet, put socks on.
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