Twitty Banter : 2015

The Trout

It's most often pleasing,

the sensation of sneezing,

the feeling of getting it all out.

It might be quite rude

to do it over food,

but it's made no difference

to the Trout?

Boulder Dash

A Rock and a Reindeer ran a race on a long and winding road.

They took to their start lines - after only a few wines

at the Reindeers humble abode.

That it took long to notice their pairing was bogus

seemed odd as they joined the scene.

On-watchers looked, though they hardly took a second glance

had they saw they'd have seen.

For in a fleeting moment, by the flash of a rodent

the flag was waved and they won.

A tie was taught and with only a thought

the decision for equality was one.

Flantastic

There was once an old man, with a deep love for Flan,

he'd giggle and dance with delight.

He'd get so excited by a spoonful, he'd bite it

with nary a thought for his plight.

It drove from his mind those who dared undermine

his affair with the syrupy pudding.

He knew that they couldn't, as long as he wouldn't,

let them tickle his brain with their teasing.

So he'd coined a phrase, full of Flan-loving praise

that he insisted most definitely pleasing.

He'd stand in a crowd that was dreadfully loud

and stoicly claim, standing upright and proud.

"This Flan is flantastic!

It's not much like plastic,

it wiggles and wobbles without warning.

I urge and implore you to spend time,

explore you might find new ideas dawning.

It's better than trifle, ice-cream's delightful;

though brain-freeze is frightful,

and cake's simply hard work to bake.

So heed my advice, it's really quite nice,

I'm sure it's biggest flan-fan you'll make.

So I was walking along in my fitted blazer, skinny jeans, moustache patterned shirt, listening to the sound of my rubber soled converse hitting the pavement as I went and I started contemplating the deeper meaning of the fact that the worn sole of my shoe beating the ground could be a metaphor for my actual soul being beaten; tired, lacklustre and in need of rejuvenation.
I made a note of the breakthrough - I'd blog about it later. Readers love nothing more than an insight into my sole.
Just then I walked past the most incredible smell coming from an open door (I know very well how Frozen describes love) so I went in. It was the perfect combination of baked goods and coffee. Immediately lulled into the calm friendly atmosphere, surrounded by the mellow buzz of intelligent conversation, well read pages being turned and the gentle tapping of laptop keys brought together by the background strumming of an unknown indie band singing poetry through speakers; I went over to the counter.
Greeting me with the warmest smile, the Barista asked my name and high-fived me like an old friend. It was the least awkward I'd felt in a social situation in a long time and I gratefully ordered my usual - Cappuccino with a shot of Ginseng.
The machine gurgled into action and a few minutes later the Barista delivered my order. Overcome by the overwhelmingly soothing smell of good coffee as it wafted from my hands to my nostrils and into my brain releasing a satisfying burst of dopamine, I sank into a happy stupor.
Picking a book from the selection on a nearby coffee table, I took a cross-legged seat on the overly comfortable couch and looked around. Soul undoubtedly revitalised, I realised I could happily have spent the rest of my life here....